smidgy: Just a Simple Portrait?

A painting so amazing it looks like a photograph.

http://rolandvb.topcities.com/Weather/weather.html

http://www.doubleviking.com/the-top-15-han-solo-quotes-you-need-to-use-in-regular-conversation-5215-p.html

15. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

When to say it: When you get a bad feeling, obviously

Had Han Solo been the only character to speak this line in the entire series, it definitely would have been much higher on the list. In reality, sadly, the line is present in every single Star Wars film, thus downplaying its importance as a method of character development, instead turning it into a device that allows George Lucas to wink at the audience. It’s a cute line, but it’s not distinctly Han Solo.

14. “Had a slight weapons malfunction, but everything's perfectly alright now. We're fine, we're all fine, here, now, thank you. How are you?”
When to say it: When your cell phone signal begins to break up

Granted, this is a Star Wars quote which will almost immediately get recognized as a Star Wars quote -- hopefully, you’ll never find yourself in a real life situation where you have to use the term “weapons malfunction.” Still, though, if you’ve got to go through the typically banal “wait, you’re breaking up – can you hear me?” conversation with a friend over your phone, why not throw in a Han Solo quote for good measure? Pretty much everything Harrison Ford says in the series is gold – in everyday life, one should always be searching for methods, no matter how forced, to speak the words of Han Solo.

13. “No, no, NO. THIS one goes THERE, THAT one goes THERE.”

When to say it: When working on a project with a partner

This particular quote won’t make you look particularly cool or Han Solo-ish, but if you use this quote on someone and they recognize it as what Han yells to Chewie at the beginning of Empire Strikes Back, marry them. Immediately. Doesn’t matter what gender they are.

12. “Great, kid. Don’t get cocky.”

When to say it: When a friend accomplishes something

As much as you like your friends, you can’t give them too much credit: genuine enthusiasm from one friend to another is generally a trait only shared by women, and Han Solo is decidedly not a woman (in fact, his penis could probably break concrete). You can only use this line (or lines like it) for only so long towards your friends – one must be careful to stay in the realm of “lovable asshole” and not crossover into “outright asshole” territory. You want your friends to stay your friends, regardless of how much you may want to mock their accomplishments.

11. “Never tell me the odds!”
When to say it: When gambling

If anything, a decision to not know the odds when gambling seems like lunacy. Logic would dictate that if you bet on a boxing match, you’d damn well better know the spread, right? Well, not if you want to look like a bad-ass, you don’t. Refusing to hear the odds when gambling is so blatant a mistake, so obvious a screw-up, that the other gamblers around you will have no choice but to seriously consider what you hope to accomplish by insulating yourself from the odds. Some of the more nervous men, influenced by your steadfast refusal to play by the rules, may change their bets. Their changed bets will influence others to change bets, and, before you know it, your one line of Han Solo dialogue has completely reversed the spread. And if, by chance, your boxer of choice should actually win, then you will be viewed as a gambling prodigy – a man with an unconventional, unbeatable system who knows exactly what he is doing. And as is the case with so many of these Han quotes, seeming to know what you’re doing is a lot more important than actually knowing what you’re doing.

10. “Yeah, I’ll bet you have.”

When to say it: When an intergalactic bounty hunter tells you he’s been waiting a long time to bring you in

But after you say it, MAKE SURE TO SHOOT FIRST. Even if you somehow manage to “dodge” his blaster shot and return fire in self-defense, it will look nowhere near as cool as if you’d just taken the initiative and blasted the sonofabitch before he knew what hit him. Honestly, what kind of moron would even consider not having Han shoot first?

9. “Here’s where the fun begins.”

When to say it: When you’re about to enter a dangerous situation

The purposes of this quote are twofold: firstly, it gives a greater sense of gravitas to whatever situation you are about to undertake. Even if it’s something as simple as getting called to your boss’s office, or taking an off-road shortcut on the way home, this quote alone will make the event seem much more dramatic and cool. Secondly, having made the event seem much cooler and more dangerous than it actually is, this quote will make the speaker seem that much more skilled, self-assured and bad-ass in the context of the event.

8. “You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.”

When to say it: Anytime

This is pretty much the catch-all arrogant wise-ass phrase to use whenever you do something worthy of congratulation. And if you consider yourself an arrogant wise-ass, then everything you do is worthy of congratulation.

7. “What an incredible smell you’ve discovered!”

When to say it: Anytime you smell something awful

When showing disgust, one has to show repulsion and righteous indignation without seeming like a complete and utter pansy, which is where this quote comes into play. Han is obviously not happy that Leia convinced him to jump down a garbage chute, but at the same time, he’s not running around, whining and crying over the fact that he’s knee-deep in human fecal matter. The “incredible smell” line serves as the perfect balance of arrogant irritation and bad-ass indifference to use when someone lets out a particularly gruesome fart.

6. “Laugh it up, fuzzball.”

When to say it: When a fat/hairy person laughs at you

Again: not outright whiny and confrontational, but this line lets everyone know that you mean business and that you’re tired of their crap. Nobody would dare ignore an insult as unconventional-yet-harsh as “fuzzball,” but they also wouldn’t start a fight over it.

5. “Wonderful girl. Either I’m going to kill her, or I’m beginning to like her.”

When to say it: When talking about a woman you’re attracted to

It’s okay to show attraction to a woman, but not unqualified attraction. It’s okay to show that you would very much like to date a girl you’ve just met, but only so long as you remember to state that you don’t really like her that much. Guys who show unqualified attraction to potential mates usually end up as the schmoes who get screwed over when push comes to shove (“push,” in this case, being a synonym for “woman,” while “shove” is a synonym for “musician”). Not to mention that if the girl hears you use this line, her curiosity will be piqued: why does he like me? Why does he want to kill me? Such curiosity will lead her to talk to you more frequently in a teasing attempt to get you to reveal what you really think about her. So long as you never reveal the truth, the teasing will make way for flirting, and the flirting will more than likely make way for astounding amounts of unprotected sex.

4. “How we doin’?”

“Same as always.”

“That bad, huh?”

When to say it: When asking someone about their day
Ah, world-weariness. The idea that you’ve seen everything, done everything and had sex with everything, and yet you still consider life to be generally disappointing and awful. When using a quote like this, people will wonder why you’re so world-weary, and, if you don’t tell them, you’ll seem to have some sort of dark and mysterious past that you never talk about, despite the reality that you spent most of your childhood eating Cheetos and watching Thundercats. Is there a more wonderfully cynical, yet strangely attractive worldview to have? I think not.

3. “I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field controls my destiny.”
When to say it: During a debate on religion

It doesn’t matter if you actually believe in God; you have to use this quote in a debate on religion. It’s specific and useful enough to not necessarily seem like a Star Wars quote, and it’s got just the right amount of pseudo-philosophy and world-weary ranting to make you seem infinitely cooler than the other person in the debate. Yeah, you’ve been around. You’ve seen the world. You know what it has to offer. And, you know what? None of it impresses you. You are in charge of your life. God? Psh. Who needs him? Granted, after the debate is done you may need to go home and pray for twenty straight minutes as a method of apologizing to your deity of choice, but the important thing is that, to the guy you argued against, you look like a total bad-ass who remains completely unafraid of Jehovah’s wrath.
2. “Hey…it’s me!”

When to say it: When someone tells you to “be careful”

Who are they to doubt you? Hey, it’s you! If you weren’t the careful, clever guy you were, you’d be dead by now. You don’t need expressions of worry – you’re too cool for that. Admittedly, right after Han says this in ROTJ he steps on a twig and alerts every stormtrooper in the vicinity to his presence, but ignore that for now.

1. “I love you.”

“I know.”

When to say it: Duh

If you use this line at least once in your lifetime, you can die a happy man. It is the epitome of everything Han Solo stands for: cocky and bad-ass, yet sincere. It’s rumored that George Lucas (though he didn’t direct Empire Strikes Back, or even write its screenplay) wanted Han to tell Leia that he “loved her too,” but Harrison Ford demanded that the current version of the line we all adore so very much. Solo’s final line to Leia before getting his shit carbonite-frozen is, bar-none, the greatest moment in the entire Star Wars saga.

Not to mention that if you use this line on a woman who is legitimately expressing love for you, it will drive her nuts. If there’s one thing women love – other than musicians – it’s having strong feelings for someone who doesn’t reciprocate them (especially if the person in question is a musician). If you respond to “I love you” with “I love you, too,” you’re essentially begging the woman to lose interest in you. Making an arrogant, not-quite reciprocation of that love that hints at possible affection without outright stating it is the most intelligent thing you can possibly do; it keeps the mystery up, it keeps you in control and you keep your dignity intact.

Han Solo knows this. That’s why he’s Han Solo.

Japanese fooled in poodle scam

Thousands of Japanese have been swindled in a scam in which they were sold Australian and British sheep and told they were poodles.

Flocks of sheep were imported to Japan and then sold by a company called Poodles as Pets, marketed as fashionable accessories, available at $1,600 each.

That is a snip compared to a real poodle which retails for twice that much in Japan.

UPDATE!

FAKE Story, here is the retraction -

http://www.thedenverchannel.com/irresistible/13179676/detail.html

Ever need to get information from a list box or tree view, but of course you cant copy and paste from there, so you just need to grab NirSoft SysExporter and it will allow you to copy that info no problem.

See the rest here.

FreeVideoCoding.com

Look at this picture, now take about 8 steps back...

From http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~inio/dk/
Check out what students with too much time and too many post it notes do with their time.

Prints 1 page per second, or 4x6 photos 1 every 2 seconds! DANG!!!!

Memjet Technology

Police have found $206 million in cash tied to drug smugglers who imported chemicals used to make methamphetamines. The money was piled inside a mansion in a wealthy Mexico City neighborhood.

Mad props to the band No More Kings for getting almost the whole cast of Karate Kid back together for their new music video titled, of course, Sweep The Leg

New Heroes have been discovered.

Michael Chapdelaine playing "Come Together"

This is pretty sweet, watch misc. photos as they are uploaded to Flickr.

FlickrSpy - The Flickr Peepshow! by LeuMund.ch

http://www.tribalwar.com/forums/showthread.php?t=473039

he Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its
yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply
alternate meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that,
when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this
year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding a stupid person that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose
of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole

http://news.com.com/2300-1026_3-6153101-7.html?tag=ne.gall.pg

Got to any website, paste this java code (without the quotes)in the address bar and it will make all the images on the page fly around -

"javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.images; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i-DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5; DIS.top=Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5}R++}setInterval('A()',5); void(0); "

If you paste this script in, the whole page will be editable so you can make it say what you want.

"javascript:document.body.contentEditable='true'; document.designMode='on'; void 0"

Plasma from a burning toothpick?

See it for yourself. And definitely try not to experiment with something like this in your own home microwave. We wouldn’t want to read the odd news the next day to find a snippet about a home experiment involving a toothpick, flame, and microwave gone wrong. Scientifically speaking, no one seems to know exactly what’s going on.

A College Student Spent 3 Weeks in Jail After a Field Test Said She Was Carrying Drugs. She Filed a Lawsuit.
In the space of a few hours on Dec. 21, 2003, Janet Lee landed in a Philadelphia jail cell, where she would remain for three weeks, held on $500,000 bail and facing 20 years in prison on drug charges.

All over flour found in her luggage.

Full Story Here

Ever wanted to just grab a quick screen shot of what was playing in Windows Media player? Only to find that the screen shot captured the player, but not the movie playing? Well there is an easy fix for it.

http://uneasysilence.com/archive/2007/01/9070/

Article on what kinds of webs that spiders will build while under the influence of drugs. This for example is what a spider on speed might build -


And of course, here is the funny follow-up video that gives you a laugh about the whole thing.

Shrek the Third

http://movies.aol.com/movie-trailer-clip/shrek-the-third-quicktime

Looks pretty good, but I question if they can match the first two.

Nunya

Just Don't Drink It After - video powered by Metacafe

You know you want to make your own... go check it out here -

http://www.pillsbury.com/AaLL/dancebuilder.aspx

Quite a few lucky people on that deck. Of course the bent wing on that plane probably costs more than I will make in 10 years, but you know...

Apparently she learned to play by watching her dad.

and another one here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFxrdbun7e8

If you loved part 1 -














Then you will love part II!!!

How many celebs can you make your baby look like?

http://www.alvasoft.net/blog/index/2005/08/25/406-petit-jeu-connu-1

Hard to believe we had this cool of graphics back in the C64 days, these guys were real artists...

Come on, you know you want some glowing hair gel.

Voltage Self-Illuminating Hair Gel

Scott Wade's Dirty Car Art Gallery

Art created on a dirty car's back window.

Simpsons - http://www.allsimps.com/
Futurama - http://allfutus.com/

Doesn't get any better than Family Guy does it?

You know you want to have a ninja write out some text for you... right?
Click the pic to create your own.

What happens when you put a computer hard drive through a medical X-Ray machine?
A really cool picture for one thing.

But will the drive still work afterwards?

read more | digg story

This site is pretty cool, create an online snowflake and see what others have made.
Here is one of the ones I made:


Popular Front: SnowDays

Some students did this for their Intro to 3D modeling class...
INTRO?
I can't wait to see what they do for the advanced class

Fonts By Theme

Raed Jarrar's Story

One of the two men who approached me first, Inspector Harris, asked for my id card and boarding pass. I gave him my boarding pass and driver's license. He said "people are feeling offended because of your t-shirt". I looked at my t-shirt: I was wearing my shirt which states in both Arabic and English "we will not be silent".

Click title above for full text of story.

Cox Classic 2006

My blog website as a DNA image.


You can check your own site at - http://www.baekdal.com/web2dna/

Finally got the new pics posted. These are from Memorial Park in Omaha Nebraska and feature our good friends Charles and Karla.

http://www.nunya-biz.com/Pics/4th2006/default.html

A number so private, only you can make it public.

So what is it? Why put your personal numbers at risk? Get your FREE
PrivatePhone™ number. Give it out to friends. Co-workers. Anyone, for that matter.
And every PrivatePhone™ call goes right to voicemail that you can check anytime
online or over the phone, so you're never interrupted. Then sign up for text and
email alerts, so you never miss a call. It couldn't be easier to stay as connected as
you want....and protect what's private.

http://www.privatephone.com/

Just has to post this as I love Christopher Walken impersonators.

Spider-Man 3 Trailer

Rare "Rainbow" Spotted Over Idaho

From National Geographic

June 19, 2006 - It looks like a rainbow that's been set on fire, but this phenomenon is as cold as ice.

Known in the weather world as a circumhorizontal arc, this rare sight was caught on film on June 3 as it hung over northern Idaho near the Washington State border.

The arc isn't a rainbow in the traditional sense—it is caused by light passing through wispy, high-altitude cirrus clouds. The sight occurs only when the sun is very high in the sky (more than 58° above the horizon).

Created a graph of my blog site... you can do they same for your site at HERE

Oh my dear lord this is funny!

Here is yet another flash game to waste my time and drive me nuts.
http://www.yarukinoki.net/flash/pendulumeca/

Here is my high score, I quit!
(ya right)

These are fricking awesome pictures.
Click here for more.

Here is a great laugh... take a guy out for a bachelor party, let him get wasted, let him fall asleep on the trip home the next day, scare the crap out of him while he is in dream land.

Cant wait til this hits theaters

.: UNEASYsilence :. Brokeback Mountain 2

The trailer for the X-Men Movie is out! Looks freaking AWESOME. And it comes out on my birhtday... w00t!

Apple - Trailers - X-MEN: THE LAST STAND - Trailer - Large

Don't pay off your credit card, you might be mistaken for a terrorist.

Scripps Howard News Service

Aurora Gallery Part 1

p2pnet.net - the original daily p2p and digital media news site

The Big Four record labels are escalating their attack on Patti Santangelo, the New York mother who's so far the only person to stand up to them.

And they'll be using her children as weapons against her.

On Tuesday judge Mark D. Fox presided over a discovery hearing in Elektra v Santangelo and, "Elektra's attorneys have answered Patti's objections to their discovery questions," her lawyer, Jordan Glass, told p2pnet.

"They've started to push back aggressively. They're going after her children - and this time not directly so they can get around certain protections the children have. They had information about the children that wasn't public, or wasn't supposed to be public, and it's of great concern not only that that they were able to obtain it, but also that they wanted it.

"They're not treating this as a single case or as seeking a verdict for $3,500.00. They're treating this as a symbol for how the other cases will go and I hope everyone who reads this will recognize the serious impact this case could have on their children."

The RIAA has spent enough to feed a small country on trying to make the world believe it's owners, the multi-billion-dollar Big Four labels, are being "devastated" (their word) by people who share music online, that contracted artists are suffering and that support workers are being driven into extreme financial hardship.

They make the completely unsupportable assertion that people using the p2p networks to share files would otherwise have paid $1 or more to buy the song from an online corporate music site or an offline music store.

And they claim file sharers are criminals and thieves, although nothing has been stolen and at worst, file sharing, a purely civil, not criminal, matter, involves copyright infringement.

Patti is said to have shared music, an allegation she flatly denies, and when the Big Four's RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) tried to get her to buy them off, she would have none of it, instead electing to act as her own lawyer against the labels.

When p2pnet spoke to her last September, "Assuming your case ends up in court, how far are you willing to go?" - we asked her.

"I'm willing to take it as far as I have to to prevent other innocent people being dragged into frivolous lawsuits," she replied. "It's wrong."

She also said, "I have three teenage children who love music and I think that's a great thing. I can't count the amount of concert tickets and CDs that I've purchased over the past few years, and I still have two younger ones who are showing the same love for music. I find it hard to believe that file sharing could impact record companies to the point of devastation. There are some people, apparently, who copy and sell CDs, and that is piracy and they are the ones that need to be stopped."

Thanks to the generosity of p2pnet readers, Patti has been able to retain Glass and is now going through the process of collecting the materials she needs to defend herself against the Big Four, Warner Music (US), Vivendi Universal (France), Sony BMG (Japan, Germany) and EMI (Britain).

"This case is jeopardizing the actual well-being of children and you're going to see problems develop which will be far worse than the mere 'shakedown for money' ['settlements']," says Glass emphatically.

"As just one example, it was deeply unsettling for us to learn just how much personal, non-public information the RIAA had collected on Patti's children.

"All parents should be concerned and I think people have to know the implications.

"It's one thing to sue children directly. They get a lawyer, rules are established, the court might offer certain protections, etc, but when it's done through a back door - suing a parent to get information about a child - the child has no protections, especially when the plaintiff doesn't even have the decency to not publish personal information about the child.

"This, then, is going to become the new feeding ground for those who seek to exploit children, whether through improper contact or identity theft.

"This new class of child - scared and facing the federal legal system, with few protections and their personal contact and identification information, as well as their posted feelings, fears, desires and thoughts - is now exposed to the world for all to see.

"And exploit."

Glass is working virtually for expenses and the lion's share of the $7,862.62 donated so far is going on collecting and collating the discovery materials and other documents necessary for Patti's defense.

But a lot more will be needed, so please contribute whatever you can to the Fight Goliath campaign, bearing in mind Patti has taken on the international corporate music industry as much for other parents and children around the world who might find themselves in her position, as for herself and her children.

You can make a PayPal donation by clicking the button under the picture below, or you can send a cheque or money to:

Patti Santangelo
C/O PO Box 274
Hartsdale
New York 10530-0274

Members of the U.S. House of Representatives today ripped into four U.S. technology companies, calling them a "disgrace" for allowing the Chinese government to censor some Web content.

read more | digg story

46 different freeware categories with a selection of the best products in each category.

The 46 Best-ever Freeware Utilities

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

Not to mention what your parents, if over 60, think!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what
with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning .. uphill
BOTH ways . through year 'round blizzards. Carrying their younger
siblings on their backs ... to their one-room schoolhouse, where they
maintained a Straight-A average, despite their full- time,
after-school job at the local textile mill .... where they worked for
35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to
death!

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way
in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about
how hard I had it
and how easy they've got it!

But now that...

I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and
notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared
to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but
you kids today you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I
was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know
something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves,
in the card catalog!!

There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter ..
with a Pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and
put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to
hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you
had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd
usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

And talk of about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had to
steal it from your brother or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a
copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! Those were your options!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone
and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we
didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you
had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss,
your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't
know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like
"Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your
guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!
And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen
forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder
and harder and fast er and faster until you died! ... Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium
seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some
old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you
were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15
channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had
to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You
were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your
ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no
Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday
Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for
cartoons, you spoiled little bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up .. we
had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire . imagine that!
If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid JiffyPop thing and
shake it over the stove forever like an idiot. That's exactly what
I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're
spoiled.

You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980

Close your eyes... And go back...
Before the Internet or the AIM
Before college or high school
Before playstation2 or X-bOX
Before the 5 hours of homework you put off every night...

..Way back...
I'm talkin' bout hide and go seek at dusk.
Red light, Green light.
Playing kickball & dodgeball until your porch light came on.
Mother May I?
Red Rover
four square
Hula Hoops
Running through the sprinkler
Happy Meals
Getting the privelage to sit in the front seat of the car
Wait...

Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons
Like the teenage mutant ninja turtles, Ghostbusters, or Heeman
Or what about legends of the hidden temple, global guts, double dare, and ARE YOU AFFRAID OF THE DARK!
Who could forget Snick
Or “Pete and Pete”, scooby doo, and Power Rangers, Doug,
Its been a Full House
From “Saved by the Bell” to “Boy meets world” its been Step by Step
Christmas morning...
Your first day of school
Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses
Climbing trees
Getting an ice cream off the ding ding man
A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers
Jumpin' down the steps
Jumpin' on the bed
Pillow fights
Runnin' till you were out of breath
Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt and you almost peed your pants
Laughing so hard that you did pee your pants
Being tired from playin' all day
Your first crush...

Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads Up, 7-Up" & "King chase the Queen" in the classroom
Remember that?
I'm not finished yet...
Kool-Aid & Icee Cups was the drink of the summer
Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars or spokes
Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school
Class Field Trips
When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.
When getting high was swinging on the swing-set
When $5 seemed like a million, and another dollar a Miracle.
When your parents took you to McDonalds and you were so cool.
When Toys r Us overuled the "mall"
I want to go back to the time when...

Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe"
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "monopoly"
Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Saying cuss words were referred to the "F, B or S - word" or h-e double hockey sticks.
Being old, referred to anyone over 20.
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.
The only real heart break you had was when your mom wouldnt buy you that new toy
Nobody was prettier than Mom
Nobody was cooler than Dad
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.
Getting a snowday was a dream come true.
Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare"
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!

Designed by Nintendo, this looks amazing -
Nintendo floor display

If you have never heard of them here is a brief description -
The darwins are awarded to those individiuals who are so dense, that the idiotic way that they have ended their own life can only have a positive effect on the human gene pool.

Check them out here -
http://www.seedmagazine.com/news/2006/01/the_darwin_awards.php

Check out this SNL rap video, it's pretty darn funny.

Lazy Sunday

Top Gear - Lotus Exige - Google Video

Great video if you love helocopters. Can an Apache warbird get missle lock on a fast turning Lotus Exige?

This one has had my attention all day long -

If you remember the Yeti hitting the penguin, well here is the Yeti playing golf with the penguin version.







You can try it at -
http://www.arcadeshack.com/games/yeti_sports_5

Received in an email -

This is even funnier when you realize it's real! The next time you have a bad day at work... think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. Heperforms underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft.
Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.

"Hi Sue:

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had I happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt! As soon as I got in the chamber, the cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job"

Wow. That is basically theonly word that can describe this story of a very unfortunate online shopping experience. I'm sure most of us have had some bad online experiences, but damn. Hopefully the power of the internet will help put unscrupulous scum like this where they belong.

http://thomashawk.com/

The SNL classic now on Google Video


COWBELL :: DownloadGoogleVideos.com

favorite apps - jesse crouch's log

Some great windows apps.

http://files.deviantart.com/f/2004/188/8/7/gridgame.swf
My record is 1751 so far.

Awesome meteor video.

You can still download quicktime without having to download iTunes... just download the standalone player from this link -

http://www.apple.com/quicktime/download/standalone.html

DVD43 is a free application. This site will help you find DVD43 so you don't have to pay money for a decrypter.

Underworld: Evolution
Watch Kate Beckinsale in the trailer for 'Underworld: Evolution,' the sequel to 2003's vampire vs. werewolf conflict, 'Underworld.'

1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with the newspaper in their hands look like they're heading for the bathroom. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy. Any time you use a computer, it looks like work to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that everybody from the computer revolution expected but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss--and you will get caught--your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use the new software, thus saving valuable training dollars. You're not a loafer, you're a self-starter. Offer to show your boss what you learned. That will make your boss scurry away like a frightened salamander.

3. Messy desk. Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like you're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Voice mail. Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing--they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's to way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour. That way, you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel. If you diligently employ the method of screening incoming calls and then returning calls when nobody is there, this will greatly increase the odds that they will give up or look for a solution that doesn't involve you. The sweetest voice mail message you can ever hear is "Ignore my last message. I took care of it." If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full"--a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand.

Ten Thoughts to Ponder

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism .

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

List of some great windows software for power and regular users.